It seemed pressure came from every direction. It was unrelenting. Financial pressures brought worry. Children issues brought frustration. And an overloaded schedule kept me up at night. It got so bad I wanted to have a bonfire with all my to-do lists and make s’mores. Debts mounted. My child’s problems increased. And consequently, I fell further behind. The pressure just kept increasing instead of going away. Never in my life had circumstances been so overwhelmingly beyond my control. I was surrounded by things I couldn’t whip into shape, including my own emotions. I felt like such a failure, and was so ashamed that I couldn’t manage the assignments God had given me. Finally, with no solutions in sight, I broke down before God, crying out in desperation, certain He’d be as disappointed with me as I was.
Pressure in life is never easy. But God can use it to take our faith deeper if we let Him. It started for me by admitting my insufficiency, and realizing God wasn’t disappointed by that confession. In fact, He invites me to need Him.
Heavenly Father, please forgive me for all the times I’ve said “I don’t need You” through my actions. I admit I can’t manage my life alone, and need Your help. Thank You for being all-sufficient and all-powerful and loving me enough to never shame me for what I can’t manage. I love You. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.
2 Corinthians 1:8-9
We do not want you to be uninformed, brothers and sisters, about the troubles we experienced in the province of Asia. We were under great pressure, far beyond our ability to endure, so that we despaired of life itself. Indeed, we felt we had received the sentence of death. But this happened that we might not rely on ourselves but on God, who raises the dead.